A rchive Date
[ 09-02-2004 ]
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sub-Categoy
[ Mass Media ]
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[http://www.canoe.ca/Columnists/haskins.html
Damn it, Janet, what's next?
By SCOTT HASKINS - Edmonton Sun
February 5, 2004
Let's make two things perfectly clear. As opposed to digitally obscured. I have nothing against Janet Jackson's breasts.
Or bosoms or bustlines in general. They can be wondrous things. Then again, I have an e-mail address. And some REALLY sick friends. And gravity is not always our friend. Sometimes ... not so much.
I'm not bragging here, but I have seen my share and a half of yours. I have no choice. In this day and age they are a part of pop culture. And they're popping out everywhere.
Even on the NFL gridiron, perhaps the manliest place on earth, there is no escaping the titillation.
If you didn't see it - the entire wretched halftime show, I mean - we were right on the verge of an orgy breaking out when CBS cut away to more important things. Like a dog biting a man where no man wants to be bitten.
Maybe you opted for the pay-per-view Lingerie Bowl instead. Now there's something you don't see every day. But the day is surely coming.
I don't think this is what MTV organizers meant when they told Justin Timberlake to give Janet a hand. A duet, you idiot.
A wardrobe malfunction, he says. Of course. Try that with your co-worker and see what happens.
Then again, it's all about exposure. Jiggle-gate dominated all the airwaves and most of the conversations the next day. The blurry boob was everywhere.
No big deal? It depends on your angle.
My angle is that gramma was right. The handbasket we're all going to hell in is full. The Super Bowl was just more of the same.
Achieving the ultimate in shock value is becoming increasingly difficult. Especially if you have a new CD coming out. So Britney deep-throats Madonna. And now Michael isn't the only Jackson we've seen too much of.
Onward and downward we go.
I'd be called a lot of things before someone got around to using the word prudish. In terms my younger audience will understand, I'm actually pretty fly. I'm not easily offended, but it seems to be getting easier by the day.
Cultured is supposed to mean being educated to appreciate literature, arts and music. OK, maybe not music.
I realize I sound like my father, but it's more like a subculture for today's youth. Dive, dive, dive. To new lows and greater depths.
Image is everything, but clothing is optional. The mass media are the mess media. I can remember when our SUNshine Girl was considered risque. Sex and perversion sell and more and more people are buying.
Hence the popularity of my pals Terry, Bill and Steve on the K-Rock morning show. See ... they're nuts. But that's good. Crass rules. Everything goes, but the first thing that goes is decorum. Whatever works.
Being scantily clad in a magazine is to be overdressed. The unacceptable is now expected. If there were once seven words you couldn't say on TV, there are maybe one or two now. And there are no taboos whatsoever in movies.
There's no such thing as sexual innuendo. It's right there, full frontal and centrefold, baby. Feast your eyes. Imagination not required.
From Wild On to any and all afternoon soaps. From Paris Hilton to Christina Aguilera to Nelly. You may have seen him, grabbing his guys as he gave good taste another bad rap before the Jackson-Timberlake unveiling.
Why do they do that? The Daily Show's Jon Stewart shrugs his shoulders. "Itchy penis," he says. Finally, an answer that makes sense.
What we have, according to Sun comment editor Mike Jenkinson, is "a cultural and generational divide." But I think it's more like a gaping hole. That's because I have a 17-year-old son at home who sometimes watches videos.
"C'mere, dad. You gotta see this one."
The song is Milkshake. But it has nothing to do with milk and everything to do with shake. It's pretty much simulated sex. So it's pretty much like most of the others in the top 10. With the exception of Britney's Toxic, this week's must-see. Even my kid is shocked.
"She's having sex with three guys," Ryan informs me. Then he informs me that butt implants are all the rage." I did not know that, but I had my suspicions.
When Spike Lee says, "It's getting crazy," there is cause for concern. Nice role models our teenaged girls have today.
Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake will be back together at Sunday's Grammy Awards. The ratings, you can be sure, will be through the roof.
Scott Haskins can be reached by phone (780) 468-0278, by fax (780) 468-0139 and by e-mail at hasbin@shaw.ca. Letters to the editor should be sent to mailbag@edm.sunpub.com.
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