WordType Designs™
Driven To Distractions©
The Sound of One Hand Clapping©

A rchive Date
[ 25-01-2000 ]
Category
[ International Relations ]
sub-Categoy
[ Humour ]
      [Actual Church Bloopers
      (pulled from church bulletins)
        • Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help
        • Thursday night - Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow
        • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community
        • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs
        • The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer
        • This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the Church. Children will be baptized at both ends
        • Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk please come early
        • Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor
        • Thursday at 5 p.m., there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the pastor in his private study
        • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow
        • This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mr. Vassilas to come forward and lay an egg on the altar
        • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice
        • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double doors at the side entrance
        • The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11
        • Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones
        • Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes
        • The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir
        • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children
        • The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"]


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