A rchive Date
[ 15-06-2003 ]
Category
[ International Relations ]
sub-Categoy
[ Canada ]
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[http://www.canoe.ca/Columnists/steward.html
Gay marriage: Maybe it's a generational thing
June 15, 2003
I don't think I'm homophobic, but I come from a generation that has not taken seriously the lifestyle of gays and lesbians. It would not be an exaggeration to say I have heard at least 100 gay or lesbian jokes in my lifetime and watched straight friends, more than once or twice, mince and lisp their way around a room to gales of laughter.
I still occasionally hear the terms fag, gearbox, queer and others of a more graphic nature in the circles in which I travel. Not often, mind you, and the incidents of insensitivity to gays have certainly become less frequent over the years. Still, I don't think an obviously gay man would feel comfortable in those circles. Nor am I sure he'd be received without some real tension.
I, and I suspect most of my friends, reacted with a gulp to the television footage and the front page newspaper photographs of the two men who first availed themselves of the new same-sex marriage laws. In the news coverage of their marriage ceremony, the newlyweds popped champagne corks and kissed in flamboyant fashion. Certainly with more flair and style than I've seen at straight weddings.
The men are Michael Leshner and Michael Stark. Leshner is a Crown attorney and he and his long-time common law partner were married by Justice John Hamilton at the Ontario Superior Court courthouse, the first after the Ontario Court of Appeal ruling that same-sex marriages were legal in this province. His mother, Ethel, was on hand. Justice Hamilton joked that the happy couple didn't wait for him to give the go-ahead to kiss.
Ethel Leshner looked on proudly and said she was happy because her son was happy. The witnesses and guests clapped as the couple held hands and embraced. By all accounts, a warm and classy affair.
"Today is Day One for millions of gays and lesbians to be able to marry. Homophobia is dead as of today," Michael Leshner declared. "We're just two ordinary Canadians, not a threat to anyone."
He may be overstating the death of homophobia and understating the Canadian status of he and his partner, but in the main I think he is right. With the ruling, I think we will see the attitude toward same-sex marriages change fairly rapidly. I think, too, the feelings toward gays and lesbians themselves by straight Canadians will change quickly and profoundly.
There is little likelihood our federal government will do anything to reverse the Ontario decision. Having sidestepped the issue for political reasons for so long, the Justice Department will feel only relief that it need not actually take a stand.
University of Toronto professor of political science and sexual diversity, David Rayside, felt all men and women in a same-sex relationship would benefit from the court decision.
While he doesn't believe it's necessary to legalize his own 18-year relationship, he says, "The court judgment will increase the comfort level the average Canadian has with same-sex relationships. I, as well as anyone in a same-sex relationship, will benefit from that."
Numbers will level off
I think we might see an initial rush to marriage by the gay and lesbian community, but the numbers will level off as most of those in permanent, long-time relationships take vows. I suspect gays and lesbians will likely in time marry in the same percentages as the straight community. It will not be many years before photographs and video footage of men kissing men and women kissing women in celebration of marriage will fail to shock the straight audience. Even my generation will get over it.
The gay community's reaction to the court ruling makes clear just how hurtful were the laws that forbade same-sex marriages. The Ontario judgment allowing - unconditionally - same-sex marriages is being received with genuine jubilation.
Toronto lawyer Lisa Hayes told the press she and her partner of six years always felt the laws prohibiting their legal marriage "were a real slap in the face. It sends the message that our relationship is second class. We've always felt that way." The couple went so far as to get married in Vermont, where same-sex marriages are legal.
I think Michael Leshner is right. The homosexual jokes in my crowd won't end completely. Nor will the heterosexual ones. Attitudes don't change overnight. But for sure, over time we will see the distrust of one community for the other wane.
The fears as well.
 World Fact Book (CIA)]
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